Garden Strategist Gifts

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Rose Garden

Yardless: Please help

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Sale! Weed Whackers

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

Environmentalist Brainstorm

'That plant food really works!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Population rocket

Will eat your homework for $.

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Green Energy used to power polluting industries

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

Putting money back in to the world economy

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

Gardener of the Year.

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'