Garden Thinker Gifts

'I got an idea!'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

Yardless: Please help

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

Bird Torture.

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

Raining

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Planting by the Moon.

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Weeds

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

Climate Change -- You are here.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."