Cereal Marketing Guru Gifts

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids!

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

German Expressionist Breakfast

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Target your customer.

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Power breakfast.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

A close shave on the Titanic...

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Mom bought the wrong flakes

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'