Feeding Strategist Gifts

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

To do before Saturday...

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Making healthy eating bearable.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

No bottle feeding.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'