Calorie Management Pillows

Low fat diets.

All Natural Nothing

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Valleyview diet clinic

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

Scales

HS2

"You won’t need refills."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Let's give him a few minutes to grieve. His idea of taxing the air taxpayers breath was rejected."