Calculation Connoisseur Gifts

"My whole life passed before my eyes except the part where I learned the multiplication tables."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

"Roger never does anything spontaneous, not even human combustion."

'How many times must I tell you this Jacobsen? 'Round up the usual suspects!'.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"Stan, I may have miscalculated the potential energy... Stan?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Math Dreams

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'I forgot the question.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

I love maths.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

(Pi) 5 8. You can trust him to keep a secret --- He's non-repeating.

"Be rational."

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'