Calculator Aficionado Gifts

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Math Dreams

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Maths is fun!'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'190 divided by two...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'This part was tenure.'