Calculation Enthusiast Gifts

"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."

I love maths.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

'You'll find that math gets easier as you learn how to use a calculator.'

Math Dreams

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Calculus is my new Versace. I get a buzz from algorithms. What's going on with me, Raymond? I'm scared.'

Mathematicians erase equation.

"I'm thinking of a number between (3x2)=6 and (7x9)-(8x2)."

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

"I got 75 percent right on my math test!"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'Simply put.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."