Calculation Connoisseurs Gifts

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Math Dreams

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

'Maths is fun!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'190 divided by two...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Common Core Family Therapy

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'