Calculus Enthusiasts Gifts

"I don't give a fig about Newton."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'But I digress...'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

Math Dreams

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Is it that bad?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

'Simply put.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

Genius Envy

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'