Caffeine Conqueror Gifts

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

Corporate Coffee Co.

"I came, I saw, I caffeinated."

'My feet are killing me.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Back to work...

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

You've Had Enough!

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

The trim reaper

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

Why am I running?

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

Am Awful Crammer.

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Crop duster wanted.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

A woman's work is never done!

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."