Caffeine Warrior Gifts

"Decaf... I distincly ordered DECAF..."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Yoga for Alcoholics

Back to work...

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

You've Had Enough!

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

"How about a little more coffee?"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

Hipster Coffee

'I figured I was in hell when I saw the wine list - 800 selections, and they're all white zinfandels.'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

"The seventh cup's the charm!"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'