Caffeine Crusader Gifts

Back to work...

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

Coffee Cartoon - Espresso Machines

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

'More buzz for the buck.'

"He's not himself until that first cup of coffee."

Get a Life.

"According to the surveillance video you took the last of the coffee."

'Ere! I thought coffee was supposed to keep you AWAKE!'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Checklist: 1. Rise 2. Coffee 3. Shine

"I'm very sorry...but we can't help with a broken office coffee machine!"

"The coffee machine is out of order again."

"If you need something stronger we can bring out the defibrillator."

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

'This is my 7,623rd cappuccino to date.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'We're really lost! I haven't seen a Starbucks for over an hour.'

'All I want to know is--when do I get to use the quadratic formula, political facts of South America, frog anatomy, the ecology of Johnson Creek, and the billions of other things I spent twelve years studying so diligently?'

You've Had Enough!

"I came, I saw, I caffeinated."

'How to tell if there are too many coffee shops in your neighbourhood'

Priest gets coffee from a Rev. Coffee Machine

Coming soon - the Barrel! 'OH BOY!!'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"The seventh cup's the charm!"

"It's only Tuesday?!"

I see you. I deny everything. I have PROOF that in order to keep your patrons coming back, you've quintupled the amount of caffeine in everything you sell. I SAID KEEP THOSE STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKES COMING!!! Anecdotal evidence is not the same thing as "proof." I see you.

Boss, it's freezing in the caf

Hey boss, why's there a Roomba scooting around the café with a tray of drink and a credit card reader? Oh … you notices that? Don't be concerned, minion. There's only one Rudy Park. By the way, interesting bit of trivia for no particular reason: Have you heard that we're losing most of our jobs, and people who still have jobs can't get a raise, not 'cause of outsourcing ... not 'cause of immigration ... but 'cause of robots? Anyway, go plug in Roomba Park for a little while. He needs recharging.

I've had four espresso shots and a red bull. Look out post office, here comes Sadie! Post office? You're fueling up so you have the strength to endure the long lines? Ha. I'm creating the lines. I get to the counter with a stack of complicated questions, then watch the people behind me go nuts with frustration! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!! One of the best maniacal laughs in the business.

Kindly bind me with this rope. I don

What day is it? Friday. I've been off caffeine for four days. I'm coming out of my haze. Let's try it. What? Hand me my bullhorn. If you say so. Demand universal health care. How pleasant. Like chamomile tea.