Caffeine Champion Gifts

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

Eternal Student.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Back to work...

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Writers without borders.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'What's holding him up?'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"How about a little more coffee?"

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Coffee Menu

'You've had enough.'

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

Mums coffee morning

Too Much Coffee Man

Sermon on the Grounds...

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."