Cardio Conqueror Gifts

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

The trim reaper

Fit-Bite

'My trainer is a touch task master.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Rage.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Yoga To-Do

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

For sale - Used only Once.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Female chemotherapy warrior.

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

A Learning Curve.

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'