Cafe Humor Director Gifts

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

Three Pigs.

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

Gerald seems to have turned into a Viking during lockdown

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'Not really the kind of cafe culture we were hoping to find.'

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'