Cafe Comedian Gifts

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"I like to keep my option open."

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

Keister Island

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

"Is that decaf?"

"There's a fly in my soup."

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"Hmm... Do I get it?"