Coffee Comedian Gifts

Stirrbucks

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Where are we dumping the sludge?'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

"I like to keep my option open."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

Keister Island

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

A waiter strictly adhering to his religion

"Is that decaf?"

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'