Coffee Room Comedian Gifts

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Moses on the web

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"I like to keep my option open."

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'