Cafe Comedian T-Shirts

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"I like to keep my option open."

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

Keister Island

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

"Is that decaf?"

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"Hmm... Do I get it?"