Cafeteria Comedians T-Shirts

"My parents are extreme vegans. I'm not allowed to have a piggy bank."

"Did your mom commandeer your lunch account again?"

"There's a fly in my soup."

Hill-Billy Bag Lunches

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Cafe Burns.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

The Fault of the Fowl

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

'This decaf's lousy.'