Cafeteria Comedy Lover T-Shirts

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'