Cafeteria Comedians Gifts

"My parents are extreme vegans. I'm not allowed to have a piggy bank."

"Did your mom commandeer your lunch account again?"

"There's a fly in my soup."

Hill-Billy Bag Lunches

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Cafe Burns.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

The Fault of the Fowl

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

'This decaf's lousy.'