School Cafeteria Comedians Gifts

'I'm brown bagging it today.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'But I digress...'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Big Bang Theory.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'