School Meal Comedians Gifts

'No, It's not last years leftovers.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

"I can count to 20...Without taking off my shoes."