Cable Installer Gifts

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Socaial Life of the Cable Installer Guy.

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"When did they add this channel?!"

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."

"Fibreoptics is simple stuff - we drill through your wall, run in the cable, join it all up and Bob's not your uncle."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

Summer Energy

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

Sustainability

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Hee hee hee, watch this - I just shuffled my feet on the carpet.

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Ned always naps more soundly when he's selling power back to the grid."

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"Sky, sir?"

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

It's my latest work, I only vomited it this morning.

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'You called about digital cable?'