Cable Gifts

"Why would I need 185,000 TV channels??"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

There?s a Conflict of Interest in My Conflict of Interest

Minutes since the TV broke.

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"Okay, I want rubbish, you want garbage, so let's settle for trash."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

'How is the networking going?'

'You called about digital cable?'

'Since our cable company raised rates for the second time in a year, we're gonna switch to satellite.'

Socaial Life of the Cable Installer Guy.

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

Satelite television

Man with TV listings - It's not easy keeping track of my social life."

"A cable technician will be out between the hours of 8:00 AM and 4:00 PM, in the year of 2025. Please push one to confirm the appointment.

"Every day, it's the same old 213 channels."

'I didn't know there was such a thing as the 'Man's Inhumanity to Man' channel...'

'I told you not to touch the hot line!'