Cable_repairman Gifts

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Fixing the TV.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Was it a fuse?"

"Frosty the Repairman"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"You're late."

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

I put a feather pillow in the dryer by mistake! The repairman looked at me and said: 'Sorry about your duck!'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'