Cable Technician Gifts

'Since our cable company raised rates for the second time in a year, we're gonna switch to satellite.'

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'I want enough channels so that by the time I'm done surfing, a whole new half hour of programs I don't want to watch will begin.'

"All we know is it happened between the hours of 9 A.M. and 4 P.M."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'You called about digital cable?'

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

'Apparently honey, too much internet is bad for your marriage...'

TV repair man being attacked by TV

'Cable guy wait for ME this time.'

Death returning a cable box.

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

"I've got better things to contemplate than trying to figure out when the cable guy is going to show up."

"I'll come for you tomorrow between 10:00 A.M. and 5:00 P.M."

"A cable technician will be out between the hours of 8:00 AM and 4:00 PM, in the year of 2025. Please push one to confirm the appointment.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"My homework ate my dog."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"I'm going to get you fired."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'