Carpet Installer Gifts

I just had a lovely dream - the world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Hee hee hee, watch this - I just shuffled my feet on the carpet.

"Lovely new carpet Doris - and with scotch-guard too."

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

F&E Shower and Tub Installers. You made a mistake installing my tub! What's your policy? We regrout the error.

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"Sky, sir?"

'I said shag carpeting.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

It's my latest work, I only vomited it this morning.

'No, the screen needs to be a little bit to the left...no, right...'

Office carpets,putting green type.

Carpet fitter

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'