Carpet Installer Gifts

I just had a lovely dream - the world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Lovely new carpet Doris - and with scotch-guard too."

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I hear they're going to cable.'

"Sky, sir?"

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

It's my latest work, I only vomited it this morning.

'No, the screen needs to be a little bit to the left...no, right...'

Carpet fitter

Office carpets,putting green type.

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

Hair trigger

Socaial Life of the Cable Installer Guy.

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

Low budget Christo copycats.

Sorry, You Didn't Win This Time