Television Installer Gifts

"Sky, sir?"

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Summer Energy

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Sustainability

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Bill O'Reilly'

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Ned always naps more soundly when he's selling power back to the grid."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

TV Repair 101.

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Cable company. . . ? I want to know why my television picture is totally upside down all the time!!"

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'I hear they're going to cable.'

' I think this 3D TV will take some getting used to, Dear!'

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

"He's here to help install our new converter box."

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

Digital Tuna.

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."