Television Installer Pillows

"Sky, sir?"

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Summer Energy

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Sustainability

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"When did they add this channel?!"

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

'I love your new flat screen saloon.'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Ned always naps more soundly when he's selling power back to the grid."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

TV Repair 101.

'I hear they're going to cable.'

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

' I think this 3D TV will take some getting used to, Dear!'

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'And here's the little feller that'll have been the cause of all your problems. . .'

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

"He's here to help install our new converter box."

"It's a very common problem, sir, and here's a simple diagnostic test you can try: If you click the remote and it goes away, it's a TV show. If it DOESN'T go away, it's reality. Hey, you're welcome! Glad I could help you!"

Digital Tuna.

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

'Unfortunately, I ran out of the satellite dish system but this has the same warranty.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'There's a lot we don't know about horizontal TV syndrome.'

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."