Cabbage Connoisseur Gifts

'I've done it, Igor, I've done it! A pest-resistant cabbage!'

'This is all your fault, you stinky vegetable!'

Another episode of History Revealed!

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Best Before 5th Pint.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Regular service or affected?"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Cereal Tasting.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Malty tasking.'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

Jar wars

Chick Lit and Boy Lit.

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."