Sausage Connoisseur Gifts

"That's probably for me."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Flying sauces.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Sausages!

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

Dog begging for a sausage

Source of Information

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

'Mr. Hillshire seems to have taken a turn for the 'wurst'.'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

Loyd Grossman

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

Bangers and Mash

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'

Dijon Vu

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting