Cabaret Goer Gifts

'Don't do that !!'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"It feels good to unwind..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Moulin Rouge Security

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Music Hall Dancers

The Stripper

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Dog Bar with Toilets.

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

Amanda Seyfried

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

'Scary movie?'

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'