Cabaret Artist Gifts

Music Hall Dancers

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"What other tricks does he need?"

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Moulin Rouge Security

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

The Stripper

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'When the market is down, we find the ben bernanke punching bag very cathartic.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Burlyesque

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Pottery Slam

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Ventriloquist's fete

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"This next one goes out to everyone who wishes I were Bobby Short."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Cartooning

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

People talking through a stethoscope.

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."