Cabaret Fan Gifts

Music Hall Dancers

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The Runaway Horse

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Are you made of sugar?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Dog walking Human.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Support group for sheep.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'