Cabaret Aficionado Gifts

"Who knows of he's any good, but he certainly sounds exciting. He said on the telephone he was , 'The Man with Many Faces!'"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Easter Island legs

Love at First Sight

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Cat box"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"That's not how I sat on you."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog