Cabaret Gifts

Magic for Minors

'Before WWII, damnit, life was a cabaret!'

"Who knows of he's any good, but he certainly sounds exciting. He said on the telephone he was , 'The Man with Many Faces!'"

Ventriloquist's fete

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Moulin Rouge Security

Music Hall Dancers

The Stripper

Burlyesque

'When the market is down, we find the ben bernanke punching bag very cathartic.'

'You went for the highlights then?'

"This next one goes out to everyone who wishes I were Bobby Short."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Mom, Dad... you're right, it was high time to see the hairdresser!'

Uprooted

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

'You can't cancel a summit meeting because of a bad haircut!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

"You're a barber. Think of your portfolio as a haircut.... in two weeks it will look better."

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

Cabaret

'I always said I was a lover, not a fighter, but that was before I got married.'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

Men talking in a club house

'You STUPID fool Ryan! Didn't i warn you not to go JUDGING his cover?!' / A book has just been bashed around a bit for judging another book's cover.

'I don't think I've seen your brother, what does he look like?'

Cow Striptease.