Cabaret Lover Gifts

'Please, no torch songs.'

Pianist

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

The first car accident.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Gardener attacked by plants.

UK border controls relaxed.