Byte Wrangler Gifts

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

The Baby Walker

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

The First Day Back

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'Did you want me, boss?'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Snake Dress-Up

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'Loose Nuke Round Up!'

The Drone Ranger

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"He who controls the Internet controls the world."