Business World Skeptic Gifts

"Hello, Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?"

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

With-it Woman

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'