Business World Skeptic Gifts

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'