Big Business Skeptic Gifts

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Welcome! We're the big box store that never forgets your face.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Neversource"

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"Guess what, Collins? Not my job to remember what I said yesterday."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"My kid could have done that with AI."

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Facebook in Crisis

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

'And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?'

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

Pollution and money

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

"Make him take 15 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!"