Business Trend Skeptic Gifts

Flight of the Old White Guy

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Final words on gravestones.

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

"Hold all calls, I'm taking a bath."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Economic Prosperity

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

Worldcom falling on Atlas.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

'You know, it really was worth the extra $5 million to come up with the perfect logo.'

Welcome! We're the big box store that never forgets your face.

The end is near! There's one crazy lemming in every crowd, isn't there?

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"Hello, Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?"

"I'm sorry to say your husband took so many antioxidants, he suffocated."

'This is big ... a bank is actually approving a loan.'

'I was afraid this wouldn't work.'

'I'm counting on you to keep me updated on the hottest jungle companies.'

"Casual dress hasn't yielded the results we'd hoped for."

"Rogers, you have been warned...we do not jubilate in this office!"

'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'