Business Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Who's the designated leaker?'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The scary thing is he's our CFO.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

"Nobody knows anything."

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

'The company is doing much better since we outsourced our ethics division to tribal warlords.'

'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'

'Interesting ambition, Freddie. And what will you be if large corporations are no longer hiring rogue accountants?'

'You have a board of directors meeting when the little hand's on the three and the big hand's on the 12.'

"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."

"JB is a great believer in 'hands on' management."

"Opportunity knocking? Can you hold?"

"There's a rumour that we're going to merge again."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

Giganti corp. - crushing the competition since 1947.

Our New Slogan: Make Money.

"Do you think now we're doing fewer illegal things we can scale back the legal department?"

'Let me rephrase that. Go home and sleep on it.'

'I am open to alternative ideas, and if i think of any I'll give it my utmost consideration.'

'Well, at least we're ahead of our competitors in the number of CFOs we've had in the past year.'

'I blame it on a fragile economy hinging on early stages of recession.'

Corporate Head to others in meeting: 'I couldn't find a worthy recipient of my philanthropic giving, so I'm funneling it all through Grandma.'

"As you can see, we have thought carefully about ways of cutting costs in this company."

'You don't want to sign? Hmmm... when I was a kid, I got all I wanted when I started to cry. Is there any chance that this could still work?'

'Ladies and gentlemen, the only way we can salvage this situation is to move to a taller room...'

'You've cost this company millions, so we have no choice but to get rid of you with a million dollar severance package.'

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

'If you want to meet your target to reduce overheads I'd suggest you sack me. That'll be £13,000 plus VAT.'

Cubicles, Execs And Employees Growing More Similar To Bees

"I see by your resume that you're a friend of mine."

"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."

"He's a nice young man, but are you sure he's an M.B.A.?"