Business Humor Enthusiast Prints

'Who's the designated leaker?'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The scary thing is he's our CFO.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

"Nobody knows anything."

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

'The company is doing much better since we outsourced our ethics division to tribal warlords.'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'

'Thanks for all your hard work.'

'Interesting ambition, Freddie. And what will you be if large corporations are no longer hiring rogue accountants?'

'You have a board of directors meeting when the little hand's on the three and the big hand's on the 12.'

"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."

"JB is a great believer in 'hands on' management."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"There's a rumour that we're going to merge again."

"Opportunity knocking? Can you hold?"

Our New Slogan: Make Money.

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

Giganti corp. - crushing the competition since 1947.

'I am open to alternative ideas, and if i think of any I'll give it my utmost consideration.'

'I blame it on a fragile economy hinging on early stages of recession.'

"Do you think now we're doing fewer illegal things we can scale back the legal department?"

Corporate Head to others in meeting: 'I couldn't find a worthy recipient of my philanthropic giving, so I'm funneling it all through Grandma.'

'Well, at least we're ahead of our competitors in the number of CFOs we've had in the past year.'

'Let me rephrase that. Go home and sleep on it.'

'You don't want to sign? Hmmm... when I was a kid, I got all I wanted when I started to cry. Is there any chance that this could still work?'

'Ladies and gentlemen, the only way we can salvage this situation is to move to a taller room...'

'You've cost this company millions, so we have no choice but to get rid of you with a million dollar severance package.'

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

"As you can see, we have thought carefully about ways of cutting costs in this company."

'If you want to meet your target to reduce overheads I'd suggest you sack me. That'll be £13,000 plus VAT.'

"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."

Quarterly Report with Backup Singers