Business Humorist Prints

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'And, unfortunately, accounting is reporting that 'enough' is no longer enough.'

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

'Ok team.. let#s review: When the arrow goes down it mean...'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"With the money we'll save by shutting down quality control, we can issue some truly spectacular apologies."

'Take this mission statement back and rewrite it. More mumbo and less jumbo.'

"Just preparing your books now, Gentlemen."

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

Controversial boardroom appointments

'Please, just call me Mario. We like to keep things informal around here.'

'Unfortunately, our margin of error turned out to be our profit margin.'

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

"The proposal sounds good. Of course, I still have to run it by my people over at the Psychic Friends Network."

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

Sinking sales

"Oh, just give me a pack of whatever the guys in marketing are targeting for jerks like me."

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

'Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here.'

"Before anyone gets too optimistic this is a chart of our corporate indebtedness."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Now that's what I call customer satisfaction."

"No, we're not eliminating your position, Fischer. We're just eliminating your salary."

M. Peabody, V.P. Mind officially closed since 1975.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"All in favor, say, 'Aye'."

'Psst! Can I run your ethics committee?'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."