Bureau Connoisseur Gifts

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Men's business romper.

Wifi in Hell

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hats and Food

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Yummy Mummies

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

What's the insect de jour?

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

Creative department ?

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Doughnut Criminals