Consulting Connoisseur Gifts

"The consultant that we brought in to supervise the consultants who were looking into cutting our budget on consultants are recommending that we bringing a specialist consultant to advise us."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Dialogue

Men's business romper.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

Men gossiping

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."