Consultation Enthusiast Gifts

An hour's free consultation...

'Actions may speak louder than words - but they cost money.'

"Consult the people by all means, Your Majesty, but I don't think a referendum is a good idea."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Time Is Money

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Could I ask just one question?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Just go with the workflow."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'